CanTeen News

In CanTeen News...

I haven't been on a camp in some time now. which is sad. I was supposed to go on the Summer Camp, which is on now (3rd Dec - 7th Dec) but because I got Pneumonia, my doctor did not want me to go away too quickly after coming out of hospital. I don't think I would have gotten a full experience out of it anyways, being tired like I am anyways.

BUT for 2010 I have been electected the new Secretary of the Vic Division! How awesome is that! So now I have 3 x 1 monthly meeting for CanTeen. Div Com, 18+ committee, & Media Group.
I'll be kept busy! But i think it will be a fabulous opportunity, and i'm very much looking forward to being more involved :)

I must practice my note taking skills...

Keep well all!
Eat lots of Chocolate,
Amelia xox

It's been awhile...

By Golly has it almost been 6 months since I last wrote a post!!
How the time flies!!!

The fact that I've been in hospital for maybe 2 months of that could explain, some of my time slipping away.

Well, I am very please to announce that I am officially in COMPLETE REMISSION!! :)

In the past 6 months I have had:
- 3 ICE Chemo's (4 days in hospital at a time, every 3-4 weeks) at Cabrini
- 1 Stem Cell Collection (3 days in hospital) at The Alfred
- 1 Stem Cell Transplant (1.5 weeks in and out of hospital, and 2.5 weeks in hospital) at Box Hill
- 3 weeks (13 treatments) of Radiation at The Alfred
- 1 bout of Pneumonia (10 days in hospital) at Cabrini
- Multiple blood tests, x-rays, scans, doctors appts

So after all that you can see why I've never posted, i just haven't had the time, or haven't been feeling like I'm capable of it!
In August just before the stem cell collection, and after the chemo, my doctor gave me a "break" from it all, and allowed me to travel up to Brisbane to see my mum's side of the family. It was a wonderful week break! Mum & I went to this retreat called THE GOLDEN DOOR. OMG it was absolutely amazing, the best place ever. It is a health retreat, where they have exercise classes, meditation, relaxation, massages, all that lovely stuff. It was just wonderful. Mum and I had 5 days there, and we felt like we had been away for a month! Just fabulous!
We then spent the weekend with the family, and came back to Melbourne.

Just this past week, I have been starting to feeling excellent. It is like I can finally see the end of the tunnel, there is some light and I am certainly close to it. I have more energy than ever before, so I'm doing a lot more. But I'm still getting tired, and I'm very weak (i have no muscle strength), so everything in small steps. I'll get there, only a little bit at a time. I'm still on SO MANY medications, (20 tabs a day) but at least they are keeping me healthy!

I am looking forward to being able to plan things now, I can actually say to some one "lets catch up next week for lunch, Tues 12pm, should be great, see you there" in stead of "I'd love to catch up, but can i let you know on the day, as i don't know how i will be feeling".
It's a new sense of freedom. Another new sense of freedom is my car. I can actually drive him properly now! For the past while i haven't drive Cedric much, because of drugs, or I'm just not up to it. Having no Independence in travel is annoying! But Cedric is great (after a hefty service and new temp gauge).

I think that is all i need to up date you for now, in the coming month (the busiest of the year) I have many 21sts, birthdays, Christmas functions & family functions to attend, which I'm greatly looking forward to :)

I hope to see you all out and about, and celebrating!
(I am even allowed to DRINK ALCOHOL NOW!!)
Remember to keep eating that Chocolate, I know I've kept the chocolatiers in business!
Love to all,
Amelia xox

What a Week!!

OMG It has been a huge week.... crazy stuff has happened...

So what has happened?? Hmm...

1. I have found out that the Hodgkins Lymphoma has returned :(
2. I have been in hospital for the past few days to have biopsy
3. the biopsy was supposed to happen on Thursday at 1300, but did not have it until 1930.
4. I was STARVING & SO THRISTY leading up to the biopsy as I had not eaten since 0500 that morning. I also had a "No talking about Food or Drink" rule in my room that day.
5. The biopsy turned out to be MUCH larger than expected. I have 2 scars frm it.. one about 10cm long, and one a few cm long with stiches.... more below
6. The results have come back and it is deffinatly Hodgkins Lymphoma again, so at least that is a good thing...
7. I have had many lovely visitors :) So thank you all who visited.
8. I have discovered that Morphine, is amazing stuff.. sry to those I texted while high...
9. I have had to give up organising the Melbourne Good Food and Wine Show - for KADAC. I miss it, and I miss seeing everyone at work
10. I am home now :)

SO what is happening to me now??
Well the biopsy I was supposed to have was going to be in my neck, but the Lymph nodes in my neck were not large enough for a proper biopsy. Therefore my Surgeon, and my Heamotologist decided that they should biopsy directly frm the main tumour in my chest. This was cause for a major operation. As they removed 2.5 cm of my tumour, as well as inserted a device called a 'window' to stop fluid developing around my heart. As I did not go into theatre unil 1930 Thursday evening, I did not return to my hospital room from recovery until 2330.
All day Friday I was in and out of consciousness with the Morphine, which I was on for the pain. Saturday, I was at least alert enough to see visitors, besides family, and also able to get onto my computer. On Sunday I had my tubes removed, and I had to get stiches in the place where the tubes were. So atm I am in a bit of pain with the stiches & the cut frm the biopsy.

Since my biposy was a major ordeal, my Haemotologist has decided that I will need to recover properally before starting my new Chemo treatment, to avoid getting an infection. Therefore my treatment will not start until Thursday 11th June.
On Thusday morning I will have to be re-admitted into hospital for my PICC line to be re-inserted, and then I will be in the 2 Central, Oncology Ward of Cabrini Hospital in the arvo for Chemo.

In terms of Uni, I will have to defer Semester 2 (trimester 2 for Deakins), and when it comes to March 2010, I will have to see how much I have recoverd from the treatments I am going to go through, as there is a much longer recovery time as it is a much stronger and aggressive treatment. I have spoken to my lecturer for the subject I am currently doing, and if I hand in all assignements that I have completed so far, and so another little bit of work for her she is going to pass me. This is awesome, as it means I will not have to repeat the subject :)

My Treatment Schedule Now:
- minimum of 2 months of Chemo, which is 3-4 consecutive days in hospital recieveing intraveneous Chemo that whole time
- then Scans (PET/CT/X-ray)
- providing my scans say that I am in remission, I will then start procedure to collect Stem Cells
- if not in remission, more Chemo
- Collection of Stem Cells means more hospital, where I will be hooked up to a blood transfusion macheine for a couple of hours per day, for a couple of days. This means that My Own Stem cells will be collected for use later on
- Stem Cell Trasplant will happen a couple of months after the cultivation of the stem cells. I will have to be in hospital for 4 weeks minimum, basically inisolation so that I do not contract any illnesses. The Stem Cell Trasplant involves Chemo for 7 straight days, this will wipe my immune system & kill all cancer cells, as well as my bone marrow, and then on the 8th day they will re-inject my frozen stem cells. Then over the time I am recovering in hospital the stem cells will re-create my immune system, and bone marrow. Providing that all goes well, a couple months after the trasplant I will have to have Radiation Therapy, for a minimum for 5 weeks, which is every day....

So, I am going to have alot to deal with over the next months, and I would really like to have no other dramas to deal with like I did last time when I was going through Chemo. It is ME TIME now, and I seriously mean that. I am happy to help people with theor own dilemas but I am no longer putting up with some peoples SHIT... you know who you are.

Until Next time (lets hope I have good news to share then)...
Eat Chocolate.. I know I will with the amount I was given in hospital! I would feed a family for a week with it all!

~Amelia Fuller xox

Wow ... Time passes so quickly!

Ok so I thought I should update my blog... at long last!!
I know you have all been waiting to read what has been going on in my life... If that is you.. you obviously do not talk to me often enough!!

Anywho... What has happened to me since my last post :

• I bought a CAR!! :) It is a 1995, Honda Accord, Burgandy colour. It is very sexy, and is called Cedric. Perfect Name I think.
  
• My car broke down and is still getting re-paired :( Poor Cedric...
  
• I went on another CanTeen Camp :) It was so awesome, just as awesome as the last one (sorry no in-depth description this time, you will just have to ask me about it!), however this time is was an 18+ camp. No drinking thou.... just for people general knowledge. There was a GIANT SWING, Australiana Party, many many conversations & reflections, and just general fun!!
• Australia day Lunch with the family, always good to see them
  
• Rugby Games with Friends
• My Cousins Play "Hello Dolly", awesome performance Krystle :)
  
• And just general catching up with people
• Organising Book Group - alot of effort but I know it will be worth it in the end! I am looking forward to it very much!
  
• Oh and how could I forget WORK!! That is crazy busy at the moment.. only 3 weeks till the GFWS! AHH
• Oh and Uni... Can anyone see my priorities here? :P That is going well, however I really need to up my motivation and actually get my assignments done!! :S

I think that is really all I have been up to... one quick stint in the Emergancy Department last night... apart from that it's all good!

On another note, getting back to 'normal' is harder than I thought... I don't even know what normal is anymore. Recovering frm treatment, is in someways harder than going thought Chemo... I guess it is just another Journey.. another "Yellow Brick Road" to over come.

Until Next Time... Eat Chocolate! (YUMM CHOCOLATE - it is it's own food group I swear!)
~Amelia xox

Some photos of my trip...

Jelly Fish!! Not poisonious don't worry! (Taken underwater)

Seals at their Hut (Taken frm the boat)

My new friends and I (underwater)

A Seal!! Yes taken underwater...

More Seals.. again from underwater

My New Friends... Rhiannon, and Claire... from left to right.

Sting Ray... again under the water

Me in the water, in my snorkling gear! :)

CanTeen Camp :)

So I have not been away for a long time... about 36 hours in total... but it feels like SO much longer! :) In a good way of course!

So where did I go?, I hear you ask me... what did you do?

Well read on... and I shal tell you :)

Ok so... I guess I should start spilling the story! Hehe

Well yesterday morning (saturday) I left home at 9am, to arrive at CanTeen Vic Headquarters by 0930. I drove in as I have dad's car for the week, and left it in the CanTeen Staff carpark for safe keeping over the weekend. Better than having it on the road (and getting a fine)!
By 0950 all Members were in the bus, and we were starting to chat and get to know each other.
After some formal introductions to the staff, volunteers, and ourselves (just our name, age and school/uni etc) we set off for Queenscliff!

On the bus trip on the way down, we chatted, got to know the people around us, ate muslei bars and apples. We also ordered our lunch which were Rolls. Yummy, Yummy Rolls with whatever you wanted in them.

Once we arrived at our place, which was a huge lodge for everyone. It had 3 rooms with bunk beds... about 16 people per room, 2 extra toilets (as well as the ones in our rooms), and 2 extra showers (ditto as with toilets). It also had 2 lounge rooms, an outside patio/backward, a kitchen, single rooms (for staff, and volunteers) and a huge living area with tables. It sounds larger than it propbably was, but it housed 30 people comfortably for the night, and could probs house more comfortably for longer.
Anyway, back to the story.... So we arrived. We unloaded the bus, and were assigned to our rooms. 1) the boys room, 2) the 16+ girls room, 3) the >16 girls. Once we had dropped off all our belongings, we re-grouped in the lounge room, and headed over the road to the oval for lunch. We got to eat our yummy rolls and continue chatting.
Once we had all finished, we played "get to know you games". They were great. And obviously an awesome way to get to know everyone's names.

Oh did I mention this was a 'New Members Camp'? I probably should have said that before. So yes this was a 'New Members Camp' and none of us had ever met each other before. So we were all feeling anxious about attending, and meeting new people. But as always it was nothing to stress about, as they were all lovely people.

So once lunch and the games were over, we went back into the lodge, to learn all about CanTeen. We watched a small movie created about CanTeen and learnt what it was all about. If you don't know already, CanTeen is a non-for-profit organisation set up for 'All Young Australians Living with Cancer'. Now that maybe as a Patient Member (like me, as in you yourself have had/are going through the cancer), as a Sibling Member (your sister/brother had/has cancer), or as an Offspring Member (your Mum/Dad/Guardian had/has cancer). You can also join as a 'Bareved Member' if you have lost a family member to cancer in the above catagories. All CanTeen members are also between the ages of 12-24. We also learn't about the "CanTeen Values" there are like 17 or something so I won't mention them all :P

After our meeting, we had some 'quiet time' where you could just chill and chat to people, get to know them. Do what you want really. Some people had naps (hence why it had to be quiet), and some played board games. After an hour or so, we all got ready, and rugged up for our Boat Cruise.

Yep that is what was next on our Agenda. :)
We went on the boat cruise at about 1700. We went out for an hour and a half, during the initial stages of the sun setting. It was amazing to see the bay at a time like this. We visited the Seals (more to come) and also some other spots. Then we went for a cruise, past Sorento, and Portsea.

We got back to our lodge about 1830, and we de-rugged ourselves, and setteld in for the night. We had showers, and got into our trackies/pjs. 1930 was Dinner Time. :)
As we were having a "Movie Night" we had pizza/pasta for dinner. We also had "CanTeen Cold Rock" for dessert. YUMMY!!!
Then the actual moving watching was upon us.
We had a democratic vote for the movie, and mojority ruled "BIG" to be played. It had Tom Hanks in it, and was about a boy who wished he was 'big' and turned from a 13yr old to a 30-40 yr old over night. Funny movie I have to say.

2300 was lights out. My room went to sleep the fastest. The little boys and girls stayed up chatting until the wee hours of the morning...

Next thing i knew it was... WAKE UP.. it's 0700!!
Time to have Brekkie, and get ready for our eventful day! :)

ok ok.. can not contain it any more...
WE WENT SWIMMING WITH THE SEALS!!! oh and also went snorkling. :) :) :)

Ok so now that is out.. I will explain.

We went to the Dive Centre, where you could get either Scuba or Snorkling equipment. We got all decked out with our Wet-Suits, Snorkles and Fins.
Once we had all put on our wet-suits (so hard to get on!!!! ARGH!!) we proceeded to get on the bus to head to the cruise boat, and start on our adventure!
We all go on the boat, with all our stuff, we crusied about 15 mins to what i think is called "Pop Eye Point"... (someone can correct me on that if i've got it wrong).
We then learn't how to get off the boat and into the water (mainly for those who did not know already)... we were then separated into 2 groups. The Under 13s/can not swim very well, and The 13+/can swim... guess what group I was in. LOL
Then we proceeded to go snorking! :)

After about 20-30 mins of snorkling, we then got back on the boat. We traveled about another 10-15 mins to where the Seals hang out. They have there own hut in the middle of the sea. We were quickly breifed on the rules of swimming with the seal... you were not allowed to touch them as, seals tend to nip each other (like dogs) when they play, and they could mistake you for another seal if we touched them. Especially as we were all in out wet-suits.

Swimming with the Seals was amazing, to say the least!! They copied everything that you did. If you summersulted, they did to, if you did twists in the water, so did they. SO AMAZING!
We were so close to them. They swam around us, underneath us, and even followed us back to the boat. I can not even describe properally what it was like.

FOR PHOTOS GO CHECK OUT MY ALBUM ON FACEBOOK :)

After we had spent 20-30mins swimming with the seals, we headed back to the boat and returned to the Dive Centre. We then all got changed out of our wet-suits and headed back to the lodge.

Once we got back to the lodge, we packed all our things, and chilled out waiting for lunch.
BBQ lunch was at 1230. It was yummy :)
Once lunch was over and we had all helped clean up the lodge, and made sure that we had all packed. We started playing a few more games. Games are so much fun.

Over the course of the weekend, we each had a "Little Book of Warm & Fuzzies". Everyone could write in each others book, but not read their own. It was for others to write lovely things about you. whether it was just 'it was great to meet you on the trip' to a simple 'you rock' or what ever you wanted. Such a great idea! I belive it should be intorduced into other things! :)

So once we had all packed, cleaned up, played the last of our games, thanked our volunteers and staff. We all packed up the bus and headed home.

So all-in-all it was one amazing trip!! :)

It was so amazing, fab, cool, wicked, whatever you want to use to descirbe it.
I still am living on cloud-9 because of the trip.
Weeeeeeee! I think the highlight of the trip, besides swimming with the seals of course, was just meeting new people, making awesome new friends, and just learning that i am not alone. I knew that before, but meeting people that have been through similar things to me... is just such a great feeling. I can relate to them on a whole new level, and they truely understand how I am feeling. :)

YAY for an awesome weekend! :)

So Until Next Time... Eat Chocolate!!! (you know you can still eat more after Easter!)

~Amelia xox

CHEMO IS OVER!! PARTY TIME!!!!

AHHH IT IS ALL OVER!!!

I CAN NOT BELIEVE THAT IT IS ALL OVER!!

NO MORE CHEMO!

NO MORE PICC LINE!!

AHHHHHH!!!

WOOT
WOOT
WOOT

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE FOR THERE WONDERFUL SUPPORT.
ESPECIALLY THOSE OF YOU WHO CAME TO LAST CHEMO TODAY, IT WAS SO SPECIAL FOR ME!!
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO I DIDN'T INVITE TO LAST CHEMO, SORRY I COULD NOT HAVE EVERYONE.. BUTT KEEP YOUR EARS OPEN FOR A POSSIBLE CHEMO PARTY LATER IN THE YEAR!!

LOVE TO YOU ALL!!

SPREAD THE LOVE AND JOY!!

EAT CHOCOLATE (I KNOW I DID TODAY!!!)

~AMELIA XOX

P.S CAN YOU TELL I AM EXCITED WITH THIS WHOLE BLOG IN CAPS??? =P

1 Day!!

Ok I am SOOOOOOO Excited!!
LAST CHEMO IS TOMORROW!!! :)

Today, I spent the day at work... and I created a website for KADAC.
It is very simple, and deff not yet finished, but it is something.
It is one of my many projects to get done at work...

Anyways... ONLY 1 DAY (technically a few hours) to wait now!!

~Amelia xox

2 Days!

Today I played Taxi for the morning...

Since Mum stayed overnight in the hospital with Edd, I dropped Will off at school in the morning and then went to the Hospital to see Edd, and give Mum some clean clothes.
Edd was speeling when i got there (fair enough after an op, and at 9am!) so mum decideded that she should leave Edd to sleep and go home herself.

So I ended up driving Mum to work (where I stayed) and she picked up her car and drove home.
I stayed at work with dad.

About 1:30pm I started to feel extreamly tired, and headache-y so Dad drove me home. Where I proceeded to have a nap :) a 2 hour nap to be percise.
Then mum woke me up and we left to go see Edd in Hospital again.

When Mum and I got to Edd's room, he had so many visitors!!
He has his own entourage like me! :)
There was his friends, his girlfriend, and his friends girlfriend, and also Will and his girlfriend as well as Grandpa and mum and I.
Once everyone had left, we had some time with Edd alone, and then I took Will and his girlfriend home so that they could start their homework and eat dinner. Since they are both in yr 12 this year.

So all in all it was a long, emotional, stressful and busy day!

ONLY 2 DAYS LEFT!!! :)

~Amelia xox

3 Days....

Today I had my last appointment with Tony before Last Chemo on FRIDAY!!
We looked at the x-ray I had the other week, and my tumour has again shrunk alot.
He was not certain on the actual size on the tumour (or really scar tissue now), it is hard to tell in x-rays, so in 2 months after Chemo has clamed down... I will have all the major tests again.
These will show more accurately the size of the tumour or more... the scar tissue. I should call it scar tissue because as i am in remission there are no more tumour cells!
I also asked Tony if I could get my PICC Line out on Friday as well... it is getting so itchy and my skin is racting to EVERYTHING as it has now been in there for 6 months!!!

SO THAT IS SO EXCITING!!!! :D :D

However... my little *cough* baby *cough* brother (Edd) wen't into Hospital today.
Over the weekend he serverly hurt his left knee. Today he had surgery.
It must be so scary for him! He will also be out of action for basically the whole year!
So sad to think about what sports and activites he will be missing out on...
BUt I know he will be strong and get through it.
I actually am more worried about my parents. I am nearly finished in my journey, yes nearly. Recovering and re-cooperating for the next 6-8 months for me will be a change and something new to get used to. But now my parents have another child to worry about and stress over...

Oh Dear...

Anyways...
ONLY 3 DAYS NOW!!! :D

~Amelia xox

4 Days...

Today I just stayed home to look after Edd.

A friend of mine ended up coming over aswel and we just watched the Matrix.
So he has finaly seen all 3 of them now! LOL

ONLY 4 DAYS TO GO NOW!!

~Amelia xox

p.s all things seem to be resolved

5 Days...

Uni work is such a bore! Some one should have reminded me!
I have realised that it takes me almost twice as long to do any study than before because: -

1. I get tired quicker (i think due to levels of concentration and brain power required, as well as having cancer)
2. I am not used to it anymore after such a long break...

Well today, all I really did was uni work, and then we had a Fuller Family catch up.
So that was great to see all the Aunts, Uncles and cousins again.
There are a few family birthdays coming up, and my last chemo so that was the basis of our catch up.

Other than all that... I have just watched the last episode of CSI with Grissom in it!!!! I am going to miss him! He is such an awesome character!!

5 DAYS NOW!!!! :D

~Amelia xox

6 Days...

Shanghai Dumplings & Noodles in China Town is THE Bomb!

I just had to get that out there.
I went there today with one of my closest friends. It was Yummy!
We then proceeded to do what all girls do best.. Go Shopping!

Oh dear did I get carried away!
But I needed some new clothes, and especially a new bra. LOL
So for all you that love reading my blogs.. you must be interested in my life to read them I guess...
I bought: -

• A Dress
• T-shirt
• Buttoned Shirt
• Cardigan
• 2 pairs of Leggings
• Bra

I think that is great for only $200!!

Once I got home, I learnt that Edd had had a basketball accident and was in the hospital.. so I went to vist him (he is ok he just really badly hurt his knee) and ended up visiting the nurses at Ward 2 Central and got my PICC line changed... again!

Anyways...

THERE IS ONLY 6 days to go now!!

~Amelia xox

7 Days!

OMG ... This time next week LAST CHEMO will be OVER!! WOOT WOOT!!

Ok I will save my *happy dance* until then...

Today... Hmmm... Well I went to UNI!
I see you are shocked... No? Well you should be.. at least i was.
It was so sureeal going back, sitting in my lecture and tute, and remembering the last time i was there... oh dear I was SO SICK!! I can not believe it now...
So yes, I went to uni, and got in my 4 contact hours for the week, and let me tell you it is enough. I was exhausted when I get home this arvo! So my concentration and brain power... argh
I will get used to it again.. hopefully...

Other than Uni today, I went to the Hospital for my weekly PICC Dressing and Flush.
I knew there was something wrong with the previous weeks dressing because it has been bothering me over the past couple of days.. SO ITCHY! I've never broken a bone to know what the itchy-ness of a cast feels like.. but i think it is something like what I experience with the sticky patches. However finally after 6 months of being covered by sticky patches my skin has had enough and is reacting to them... so painful! When they had to clean the PICC Line with the antiseptic wash.. it was OMG PAINFUL!!! So painful in fact they had to get another type of antiseptic that did not have as much stinging stuff in it...
All in all I was not happy!

But... my day didn't end there.
One of my closest friends came over this arvo (after hospital) and we went out for dinner and then went to see "Confessions of a Shopperholic"!! SO Funny!
It was deffinatly THE BEST movie to see after a day like today :)
I also really need to read the books again... *Note to self: Locate book at home*

Now as it is getting late.. I shall sign off... I am slowly getting used to blogging every day...
ONLY 7 DAYS!!!! :D

~Amelia xox

8 Days...

Today I stayed at home and re-cooperated from my past couple of busy days. It was lovely! :)

What did I do: -

• Slept in
• Read my book (nearly finished Lance Armstrong, so inspirational!)
• Decided that I should do something relatively productive so I did some Yoga on the Wii Fit (So much Fun! I have now decided to try and do it for 30 mins everyday...)
• Made Pasta for lunch... ok not the most healthy choice... but so Yum!
• Then proceeded to do some Uni work...

Now you would think that everything would be easy for me just doing one subject at uni...
While some people call it being 'slack', I did not realise until today just how much MORE time than usual it took me to do things. Since I haven't done any uni work for 6 months my brain is dead.. and using it makes me tired! So much brain energy!
So I read and summarized one chapter for my lecture tomorrow.. and that was draining enough!
I needed a break.. so what did i do.. Called one of my best friends! :)
It was great to talk to her, and break up the study. Although I haven't yet gone back to it...
Oh well!!

8 DAYS TO GO NOW!!

~Amelia xox

9 Days...

Today I had a great day at work, but is was extreamly busy!
I have been put in charge of organising the Expos that KADAC is participating in this year.
There are 3 that we are doing: -

1. Good Food and Wine Show Melbourne (5-8th June)
2. Good Food and Wine Show Sydney (3-5th July)
3. Organic Expo (25-28th July)

It is going to be hectic trying to organise it all, but it will be rewarding once it is all over.
Anyway today at work we had the 'initial' meetings about the expos to organise who, what, when, where, how etc. And also so I could inform all of the dates, times, and that I would be the one inside KADAC organising it all.

However, once it got to 1630 this arvo I was exhausted to the point where I just felt like crying.. so I spoke to Dad, and we went home! I guess that is one of the perks of working for your Dad! :)
I then proceeded to have a 3 hour nap when i got home.. i was THAT tired!

ONLY 9 DAYS NOW!!

~ Amelia xox

10 Days...

Only 10 Days to wait!

Today I had a lovely day at work, talking to the lovely Kate about all things.
As we sit next to each other, and Kate usually is surrounded by Men (until the days I work) we have wonderful 'girly' chats everytime I am working! Hehe! :)

... All work is completed ... don't worry. Girls can MULTITASK!! :D

~ Amelia xox

11 Days...

11 Days until Chemo is over!
Not so long to wait now! :D

I am so excited, I now have 5 count downs going :

1. On the Fridge at home
2. At Work
3. On MSN
4. Facebook (in my status')
5. And now here

~ Amelia xox

The Battle...

It is humbling - and not so - to read Lance Armstrong's book about his battle with Cancer. Everyone I know that has read it has been inspired by his fighting spirit and reassurance in himself. But I guess unless you are also battling cancer you do not connect on the same level, that I do.

Reading the book and hearing all he went through, I can not help but relate it to myself, and my current battle. For many of the of the reactions and realisations that Lance has, are exactly the same. No matter the type or severity of the Cancer.
I know I have been blessed in receiving a so called "mild-er" version of cancer. Or what is called "the best cancer to get - if you had to" but even knowing that doesn't help all the low points.

There is reflection, and thinking. I know that myself, I can just drift off and forget who I am, what I was saying or doing, or what I was talking about / or to who. It can be highly useful at times but other times I don't even realise I am doing it until someone snaps me back, or I just come back on my own. Mostly this happens during or after Chemo, and the following days. (like today)

I blame the drugs surging around my body.

The day before Chemo and the days after Chemo are the worst. From feeling 'normal' to feeling like shit in a mere couple of hours is the worst feeling ever... I can not even start to explain it.
Not only does it leave you feeling helpless and that all you can do is hope that the Chemo is working - to kill the cancer... but it leaves you feeling vulnerable.

More vulnerable than I've ever felt in my life before.

It is a type of vulnerability that leaves your emotions on the line. You can be happy one minute, sad the next, then angry and crazy in the next couple of minutes. You never know what is coming, what is laying just underneath the surface.

It is the little things that you seem to react to...
whether it be someone staring at you because they have not seen anyone without hair before, or because you have absolutely no energy, that even walking up all of 20 steps to your bedroom is tiring enough. It could even just be a friend who has done something so unexpectedly for you "just because", and your feeling of admiration for them... or thinking about "that friend" you thought might be there for you through it all, but at the last minute gets cold feet, and pulls the rug out from underneath you.
Or it could even be just reflecting at a time like this. You are just feeling so many different emotions at one time.. that they can all surface so differently.

However, I would never be where I am now with out the support of my amazing family, and all my wonderful friends. You have all helped me more than I could ever Thank You for. I don't even know how I am going to repay you all for your kindness and generosity you have shown me. I just know that if anyone else was in my boat (and I hope that NONE of you will be), I would be there for them through thick and thin. Mind you I do believe that I would have done that even before going through all this myself.

Yet here I am rambling...
I guess reading about Lance Armstrong's memoirs of his battle has caused me to reflect - yet again - and I now feel the need to explain and share this with you all. :)

Reflecting and thinking is a natural process for everyone and now that I am nearly over the worst with my battle, it is as good a time as any.

ONLY ONE CHEMO LEFT!!! woot! woot! woot!

After that only a battery of test, 6-8 months rest and re-cooperation until I reach 'The Emerald City' (if anyone remembers me initially setting out on the 'yellow brick road' of cancer) and start living my life again with a whole new light on 'normal'. :D *happy dance* Plus I can still trump you all... "Don't blame me, blame the Cancer!"

Until next time... Eat Chocolate (it has an amazing tendency to help emotions)...

~ Amelia xox

P.s Still 5 hidden innuendo's

What have you been up to?

So It's been a month since I last posted a blog... Man time passes quickly!

So what has happened in a month...

1. I have been going into Work (at Kadac) roughly one day a week, it's been really good. At least I have something to keep my mind off things...
2. 2 more Chemo sessions have passed.. that means only 2 left!! :D
3. One of the Friday the 13th, has passed by.. only 2 more.. this year. I guess my theory is out the window. I origonally thought there were only 2 this year, making them both 'good' and two negatives makes a positive.
   
4. There was Valentine's Day...
5. I have been into Uni and sorted out what I am doing this semester. I am doing one subject, just to keep my self occupied, and my brain active.
6. I have had the usual blood tests, and also an x-ray
7. I have caught with heaps of friends :)
8. I have lost some things...
9. And gained some things...
10. Oh and I have semi-rearranged my room (really just organised it)
    

Wow and I thought I have been busy... I am sure there are somethings that I have happened, and I just can't think of the off the top of my head... If anyone knows of something I have left out let me know... and I am sorry in advance!

Until next time... Eat Chocolate! (I certainly have been!! :D)

~Amelia xox

P.s Hidden Inuendo's: 5

Bushfires...

This is a Blog Dedication to the Worst Bushfires in Australian History.

It is devestating, the amount of damage, caused by these fires. Whole towns have nearly been totally demolished, families have been ripped apart, and communities destroyed.

As of now, there have been 181 epople confirmed dead, and 146 un-confirmed or missing!
To think of all those families now missing loved ones... it is making me cry just typing this Blog!

A HUGE SHOUT-OUT goes to all volunteers (CFA, Red Cross, Salvation Army, Defence Force, interstate and overseas, and of course locals) who have put all there time, effort, love and dedication into helping out and doing anything that is needed.

For donations or information, go to:
- Country Fire Authority: www.cfa.vic.org.au
- Australian Red Cross: www.redcross.org.au
- The Salvation Army: www.salvos.com.au
- Victorian Police: www.police.vic.gov.au

and follow the links.

My thoughts and prayers go out to all!

Until next time... Eat Chocolate...

~Amelia xox

CSI : the original

So many of you who know me well know that I simply LOVE (yes with capitals) CSI.

I love it so much I even bought the Wii Game... so much fun! Despite the opinions of my brothers.....
Now that means CSI: the origional, the one in Las Vagas.
None of these other rip offs CSI: Miami, and CSI:NY... they are just try hards!

As I was procrastinting today, I came across CSI: quotes of the day!!!
YAY Now, that HAS to go on my blog!
Good bye Useless Information... (I have friends for that :P)

HELLO CSI: QUOTE OF THE DAY!! :D

Some of you might be thinking that I am crazy... (this may be true)
But Ok.. so you don't share my excitement... just let me be happy! :D

Untill next time... Eat Chocolate!
~Amelia xoxox

Attitude means everything...

My Nana sent me this in an email today...

It reminds me of myself (just the reason Nana sent me the email as it reminded her of me...)

Attitude

There once was a woman who woke up one morning,
looked in the mirror,
and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.
'Well,' she said, 'I think I'll braid my hair today.'

So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up,
looked in the mirror
and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.

'H-M-M,' she said,

'I think I'll part my hair down the middle today.'

So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up,
looked in the mirror and noticed
that she had only one hair on her head.
'Well,' she said, 'today I'm going
to wear my hair in a pony tail.'
So she did,and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up,

looked in the mirror and noticed

that there wasn't a single hair on her head.

'YAY!' she exclaimed.

'I don't have to fix my hair today!'

Attitude Is Everything

Be kinder than necessary,

for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Live simply,

Love generously,

Care deeply,

Speak kindly....

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...

It's about learning to dance in the rain.

... just a note ...

I read this today, and It really hit home with me.
It is something that I will now keep with me, as it is so true...

" Life is too short to wake up with regrets - so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason "

Until next time... Eat chocolate... (yes you, because it is too bloody hot here unfortunately it just melts in your hands, so eat some for me!)

~ Amelia xoxox

Some Uplifiting Lyrics, and Tips...

So a good friend of mine, brought to my attention a song by Delta Goodrem called "Be Strong".

Now as some of you may, or may not, know Delta was also diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma when she was my age. So for me to see some one like her, get through it all, and acomplish everything she has since her treatments is simply amazing. And it is a huge force that drives me to believe that all will be well again :)

Since I loved this song so much, when it came out, and as it is even more appropriate now. I want to share it with you all. And yes I can relate to what she is saying, and where she is coming from... Trying to stay strong is hard at times, but having all the constant amazing support that I have from all you wonderful people, helps me get through all the "darkest hours", and remember that I am "not alone".

Be Strong, By Delta Goodrem.
Songwriters: Benenate, Bridget; Gerrard, Matthew; Goodrem, Delta
Lyrics from http://www.deltagoodrem.com/lyrics/home.do?catalogueNo=5189153000&affiliateId=0510&side=1&seq=6&lyricId=2131.

Are you swimming upstream in oceans of blue?

Do you feel like your sinking?

Are you sick of the rain after all you've been through?

Well I know what you're thinking

When you can't take it

You can make it

Sometime soon I know you'll see

'cause when your in you're darkest hour

And all of the light just fades away

When you're like a single flower whose colours have turned to shades of gray

Well hang on and be strong

Where taking each step one day at a time

You can't loose your spirit

Let live and let live forget and forgive

It's all how you see it

And just remember keep it together

Don't you know you're never alone

'cause when you're in your darkest hour

And all of the light just fades away

When you're like a single flower whose colours have turned to shades of gray

Well hang on, and be strong

No you're not defeated

And soon you'll be smiling once again

Then you won't have to feel it

Let it go with the wind

Time passes us by And know that you're aloud to cry

'cause when you're in your darkest hour And all of the light just fades away

When you're like a single flower whose colours have turned to shades of gray

Well hang on and be strong

Now I know this may be a little late in getting you to you all... but better late than never.

When I was reading the "Been There, Done That" Book, written by Young People with Cancer, for Young People with Cancer, By CanTeen.. I came across a wonderful section called "Helpful Tips for your Friends" ! :)

Now I know some of you don't know what to say at times, and have questions to ask etc. So from me to you, here are some Tips.

(Sorry if I am offending anyone by putting these up... not my intention at all!)

"For Friends", By CanTeen.org.au

Sometimes it is hard to understand what your friend who is living with cancer is going through. Your friend’s cancer experience may be the first time you have had to confront terminal illness and the fear of loss. Knowing how to come to terms with what is happening may take time and good communication with your friend. We have put together some info told to us by young people such as your friend, so that you can still be there for your friend who is living with cancer.

Tips:

1. Understand that cancer is only a part of my life
2. Don’t be afraid to ask hard questions….I will answer them if I want to, and if I can. And if I don’t…then I won’t!
3. If I am confused or frustrated, help me to find out what I want or need and how best to go about getting it.
4. I don't want to go into hibernation! I want us to keep discovering new things together like new books, movies and places to visit.
5. Come and hang out with me for a day at the hospital while I am having treatment, or at Home.
6. Email me, text me or call me as much as you like. I get bored and lonely so contact me as much as you can. And don't worry about bothering me... If I am feeling gross, or I am not in the mood to talk, I just won't answer.
7. Enlist other friends to visit or call me regularly
8. If my sibling or my family member is away and I am home alone, give me a call and invite me around for dinner. Sometimes dinner isn’t really a priority and we just don’t get around to it!! It is also great to just get away and relieve some of the stress.
9. If you ask me "how I am feeling?" and I say "Fine", beware!! Just remember that FINE can mean Freaking out, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional. What I am thinking is I am not fine: I have Cancer. I am avoiding talking about it because "if we don't talk about it we don't really have to face it. And if we don't face it, we don't have to deal with it. And if we don't have to deal with it, it won't bother us. Right?" Wrong!! As my friend(s) you may be thinking "I don't want to make my friend feel bad by talking about it". But I might want to talk about it. I might need to talk about it. And if we don't talk about it, I am left thinking about it all on my own.
10. I often lie awake at night thinking and worrying. If you don't mind taking phone calls, or Texts in the middle of the night, let me know.
11. Cry with me, laugh with me, and listen to me. Sometimes there's no need for words.
12. Help me to have fun. In the beginning, and for many months to come, I may feel that the world revolves around cancer.. trust me, I will need an escape. We can go out for a meal, take a picnic and a walk together, or go to see a movie or get take-out and watch some DVDs.
13. Be my friend and support me through all the stages of cancer. A lot of friends and family will be around at the beginning, but providing support and over the long haul is necessary.
14. Try and be the consistent friend I know I can rely on!

I hope all that helps a little, and sheds a bit more light on some situations.

Many of you have been fabulous, and I wouldn't be as strong, positive and upbeat as I am now, if it wasn't for you!

I THANK YOU WITH ALL MY HEART!!

Untill next time.. Eat Chocolate...

~Amelia xox

Officially Halfway...

This week has been a very busy, yet awesome week (so far) :)


On Monday, I went to the Monash Medical Centre to get a CT Scan and a PET Scan. Now, as I am Halfway through Chemo Treatments, they obviously have to see how well it is going, and what is happening, so they can adjust the chemo accordingly. Hence the scans. (you might want to glaze over the next couple of paragraphs... i go into detail about 'scientific medical' things :P)


The PET Scan and CT Scans' are not painful (Usually, yay).. but you do have to get injections. Some tech nurses (like the one I had) can not inject properly, and leave you with a bruise from the needle. Not good. Yes this happened to me... and why when you see my I have my PICC (Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter) line, which is inserted 24/7 into my arm. Just look at the link for more details. They couldn't use the PICC line for the Radioactive Glucose they had to inject me with, because they are 'delicate' and therefore should only be used for Chemo, and withdrawing blood.


So yes, the PET Scan requires you to be 1) injected with Radioactive Glucose, 2) lie down for an hour while the RG spreads through out your body and into the tumours, as much as possible. You have to lie as still as you possibly can. 3) lie on a hard plastic board, while the 'radiographers' slide you in and out of the machine from there perches in the little room next door with the glass window. 4) Lie on the board, with your arms above your head, as still as possible for the whole 1.5 hour test. 5) Did I mention you can not be wearing any clothes, besides a medical gown, and no metal? So time consuming!!


The CT Scan on the other hand, 1) you have to drink about 1 litre of 'contrast' solution before entering the test. 2) lie on a similar hard plastic board, while the radiographers slide you in and out of a similar machine to the PET Scan. 3) Lie in exactly the same position, with your arms above your head. 4 ) be injected with some form of 'contrast' to the stuff you had to drink... and do some more sliding for an hour. Again, Time consuming. So as my appointment was at 0930, I did not leave MMC until 1400... that's 4.5 hours of tests!!!


(please join back into the blog now.. medical things should have finished by now...)


So i had tests.. big whoop i here you say...
we yes in theory... but not when you hear the results!! Now this is a perfect reason to have a blog! :) So it can be 'shouted out to the world' as i said i wanted to do.


Well, the PET Scan came back NEGATIVE!!!!!! Which means that there is an UNDETECTABLE amount of active Hodgkin's Lymphoma Cells left in my body! :D Just for reference 'undetectable' is about 80% of the cells, so I still have to go ahead with the next 3 months (6 sessions) of Chemo to make sure the cancer cells have gone as much as possible. (DIE YOU STUPID, HORRIBLE CELLS!!) The CT Scan also showed the small(er) tumours in my Neck, and Abdomen, have completely shrunk and disappeared, while the main tumor (of original size 20cm) has shrunk to 11cm, and will mostly be Scar Tissue. It will also continue shrinking over the next 3 months. :D


This is all EXCELLENT NEWS!!!! And had me jumping for joy, spinning in circles, wishing i could celebrate! Just you wait.. in 3 months when I am party-ing it up, and able to drink champagne again (IE less tired, and don't have 10000000 drugs floating around in my system) I will be doing just that.. in STYLE!


So as of now (well Tuesday 13/01/2009) Amelia Fuller is OFFICIALLY IN REMISSION!
What a way to start 2009! :D
There is not much, if anything, that can beat hearing news like that!


Even writing this blog right now, makes me want to celebrate.. I am now in search of Chocolate in the house.. I will find some, somewhere!


Until next time... Eat Chocolate...


~ Amelia xox

It's 2009...

Wow, it's 2009 already...

Before I move on to 2009, I should do the 'New Year' thing and reflect on 2008...
So here goes – 2008:

- 19^th Year of my Life

- 1^st Year Uni – Bachelor of Science, at Deakin University Burwood

- Work – Kmart & KADAC (Including multiple Expos)

- Easter at Eildon

- Trip to Jervis Bay to visit a Friend

- Uni Ski Trip to Mt. Hotham

- The end of a 1 year and 3 month Relationship – Good on us for lasting that long! :)

- Death of Uncle Greg, Great Uncle John and Hana Chan

- One of my Best Friends visiting from England

- 2 weeks in Hospital

- Diagnosis of Hodgkins Lymphoma (IIIB)

- Battling through Chemotherapy treatments every 2 weeks

- Drama’s of Boys, and Friends

So all in all, 2008 was pretty SHIT! Bring on 2009!

Ok… so 2008 wasn’t the best year I have had. It is certainly down the bottom of the “Best Year” List. But that does not mean that I didn’t have fun. During the year there were many, many great times with Friends and Family which I hope will continue into 2009 and beyond. I just hope that 2009 does not have as much tragedy as 2008 did. So as a ‘New Year’s Resolution’ of sorts, I have started this blog… Thanks to the few suggestions I received from friends. It will be a way to document my ‘Life, Drama and Chocolate’ and share with you all my Random-ness :P Joy!

I am extremely grateful for all the Love and Support that I have received this year, and especially over these past few, hard and trying months. You have all helped me to remain positive, strong, and not give up! :) A HUGE shout out to those who have been there for me through it all.. You know who you are! P.s GO Team Chemo! Moo!

May 2009 let you achieve all that you want, as well as Happiness, Joy, Love and Friendship

Until next time… Eat some Chocolate

~ Amelia xox